So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
