paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
