just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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