hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
