I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
