Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
