There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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