my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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