Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
