I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
