i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
