Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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