NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
