Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't think brook has ever known best
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
