The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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