i just wanna soil my oats bro
"it" just moved
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
