last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
