On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
