"it" just moved
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
