Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
