there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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