Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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