Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
