after a month anything with tits is on the radar
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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