I must be too annoying 4 u.
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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