we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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