So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Rumble strips road head = magical
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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