found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
