Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
