Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
