I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
