Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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