She said her name was "party"
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
