just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
