Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
