Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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