She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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