Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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