i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
