He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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