Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
