Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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