Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
