Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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