dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
