she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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