dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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