Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
