ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
