u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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